Nope! I spent the majority of my early adult lift trying to show the world how great I was, how valuable I was, and why everyone should like me.
I did this, because deep down, I had a deep seeded belief that love must be earned and that I must sacrifice my energy, opinions and well-being for the sake of those I loved.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I was a World Cup Athlete, skiing for Canada. I was fit, winning gold medals, travelling the world, and had good looking men begging for my phone number everywhere I went…
Sounds rough doesn’t it? From the outside looking in, I was a rockstar. But from the inside looking out, I saw myself as unsuccessful, ugly, and nothing special. So everyday I would go out, ski my hardest, train, be the best in hopes that someone who see me and notice how amazing I was…
That was until February 2006 when I missed qualifying for my place on the Canadian Olympic team for the Torino Games.
In one swift moment, my entire life’s work was over. I was a failure. I was a loser. I lost my identity. I lost my everything…
Who would ever love me now?
The funny thing about losing your identity, you know, the labels you give yourself and attach subjective meaning too, and spend your life trying to live up to your own standard of the label, is that… You believe your life is over.
Yes! I hate spam too 😉